My life is at its most complete state, but happiness shouldn’t be taken for granted. I hope to write about it.. 

From the minute I know I was pregnant, besides all The Joy, it was actually roller coaster for me, overwhelming.. Why am I getting all the pregnancy symptoms anyone could have? Morning sickness didn’t let me off until 4 months later. I was so laid back after that and started to enjoy my pregnancy since it subsided a bit.. we even started planning for our babymoon to Bangkok!! Who will forsee that one day before our trip.. just what are the chances.. we were told there were “abnormalities” found during the 5-months detailed scan, and this Doctor, looking very concerned.. wrote an additional remark asking us to do further tests to be assured that it isn’t Downs. Whut?! Whattttt???? Downs? You kidding me rte? One day before our babymoon, and this happens. We thought of cancelling the trip, even until the last minute sitting at Coffee Bean at the Changi Airport, I wanted to go home so much, but I was glad Pail got me up the plane. It was a Public Holiday and weekend next 2 days, clinics won’t be open, so there was no point staying in Sg crying, might as well cast everything aside, come back then face it. We came back after a week to do the test, waited another 2 weeks for the results to see a “Low risk” returned. Phew! A loud Phew!!

Life was put on “Fast forward x60”, since I’ve last written about her Birth Story.. hoho.. lets talk about Confinement!! Yes, the last stage of “Pregnancy”, they call it the Fourth Trimester. I survived! Thanks to Pail who stayed by my side, he took a month’s leave to accompany me! To all new-Dads, you may not know but your support is super important! 

Thanks to my MIL who came over to stay with us, instead of me going over. I am so very grateful for that. 各位觀眾, I managed to stay alive after not showering for 12 freaking days.. and only drinking red dates logan water, omg can you imagine someone craving to drink plain water?!! Muahahahaha….

For the first month, I only need to wake up every four hours to pump gas milk, she will help with the night feeds. Hah.. waking up to pump milk shouldn’t be “only”, it’s freaking tiring.. MIL had doubts about breastfeeding, and I still remember got soo stressed up with that, she couldn’t understand how direct-latching works, she would always first think direct latch isn’t filling enough. Baby is not full because breastmilk is too dilute and because you can’t see how many ounces through direct latching. Our Little Sesame only latched for the first week, then I became exclusively pumping. Sigh.. anyways, I am already grateful enough that she is willing to help and learn how to handle breastmilk! ENDURE! And by now, she is totally an expert already! 😀 

And happily at three months, I went back to full-time latching because I was on my own! Yay! Some tips here.. there are many reasons why a baby is screaming even after a nap, after feeding or after changing of diaper. It could be as simple as she needs to be burped, or she just needs a change in position! Learn this! It’s not just hungry! You don’t need to keep feeding! My baby knows how to reject milk when she is full, but not all babies know, sometimes you end up overfeeding! 

I felt like I’ve entered a whole new world in Breastfeeding! My entire life changed!!!

One day after delivery, how to get my newborn to latch on correctly? How to handle breastmilk? How many hours can I leave the milk in room temp.? How long can I keep the milk in fridge/freezer? And as stupid as it sounds, I need to watch a Youtube video to learn “How to fill a milk bag without air bubbles”. And as funny as it sounds, Pail was the one who taught me how to do it in d end! Haha!

And wth is breastfeeding jaundice? No, sunbaths doesnt help, she just need to drink more to flush out the bilirubin! Doctor say one! Day and night (and middle of the night) pumping and pumping.. Finally milk supply kicks in vigourously and I start suffering from bad engorgement, blocked ducts, big and small lumps over.. and mastitis, high fever, inflammation, milk blisters.. it’s crazy!!!!!! I stood countless times in the hot showers for hours just to hand-express milk to clear the blocked ducts.. On top of all the carrying, I injured my wrist tendon and till now I can’t exert pressure or even write properly without feeling pain.

Day and night, I need to plan my pumping schedule around the clock whenever I go out now.. and at work, I’ll need to book meeting rooms to pump milk, and if there are none available, I need to wait to pump during lunchtime.. My HR has just recently placed a ban on using meeting rooms.. Sigh! Damn pissed.

And.. its gonna be a long time since I can wear pretty dresses because they are not bf-friendly! There are three sections in my wardrobe now, nursing-friendly,  pumping-friendly and not-friendly clothes. And noooo wired bras, so I bought like a dozen of Uniqlo Airism Bratops, they are like the Best Nursing bra!! I can nurse at ease under a nursing cover because it’s so convenient. 

Do you know every bf-ing mom carry sibeh-heavy bag to and fro work (No more small and fashionable handbags) because the pump and bottles of milk with icepack in a cooler bag are no joke! If we need to give up seats to the needy on trains, I think we should give up seats to bf-ing working mums too!

Also, it is a luxury to be able to sleep through for two-four hours. This is seriously affecting my health! When your baby still can’t sleep through the night yet, she wakes up and smiles at u at 3am, I really don’t know to laugh or cry! By 6 months, I am certain I want to cry! T_T I was reluctant to do Sleep Training but I think I should have done it earlier… sobs

Breastfeeding knowledge is so wide that I’ve already started reading up during pregnancy, yet there’s still always so much to read about. I’ll recommend “Breastfeeding Mums” Facebook group to all, it’s really informative and supportive!  Thank you Irene Toh for inviting me to the group, and I would also specially like to thank my dear friend Tess Lee, who was super duper uber supportive to me during this period. I swear that I’ll be as supportive as I can to any friend facing breastfeeding woes!! Yea, feel free to come to Suki!!! Knowing how mother’s milk can do good to your baby makes it all worth it. This must be my biggest determination since I was born. 

Suki 好介绍 time. Please download Wonder Weeks app, it’s amazing!! Babies go through growth spurts and leaps from time to time. Every leap, they develop and learn new skills.. and tend to be more cranky and needy. Little little things to us, can be a great skill they need to learn. This app preempts us and teaches us how to help our little one learn and develop. Damn zhun one! It’s a paid app btw. 😉

Oh ya.. this Monthly Vaccine jabs is a tough nut to deal with… because baby will be a bit feverish and cranky after jabs, so keep nursing! Doctor say one! Even if you are sick, just wear a mask and keep nursing! Here’s a smal piece of advice to all, just go to polyclinics! Infants get priority queues, and it’s FOC for most jabs.

And best to arrange your jabs early morning, on a Friday.. and you have whole weekend to be with your baby if she is unwell. Just don’t be too bothered about those stupid percentiles digits, as long as your baby is constantly growing and developing well, it’s ok!

By the way, who says baby skin is always smooth and nice.. why is my baby skin not the case?? 🙁 See, she’s still smiling just breaks my heart even more!

She has persisting cradle cap that attacks on the brows, scalp and ears! and now, furious eczema! sobsss… Self-reflecting moment, is she allergic to my milk? Re-looked at my diet and cutting out diary soy seafood spices and eggs… We brought her to the PD twice, doc says it isn’t my diet.. so.. what is it? Its just some babies take months to years to mature their skin in the world outside Mummy’s womb. Also.. try to stay in a cooling environment, its possibly the heat is making her rashes worse too..

And.. latest news, Teething!! V is teething at 5.5 months! Two at a time, and not sure if it’s the leap, or issit teething, she sleeps less, and sleeps worse!! As bad as waking up every hour and cryyyyy! I also want to cry! Hang on there!! 2 more sprouting teeth at 8.5 months!! 誰能讓她舒服一點，我日子也能好過一點….

I cccccseriously do not know how to write an end to this entry, I drafted this entry since she was four months old, and keep adding.. addig.. only managed to post this up when she is nine months old! No time because I rather spend time with her everyday! It’s magical that she makes me laugh at the end of every workday! No wonder people quit their jobs to be stay-home moms! 

Parenthood is a lifetime!! Not just because I’m a new mom I get more paranoid, but it’s because A Mother Never Stops Worrying. And pls think twice before you call any Mom, especially working moms, a “Typical” mom, because that is such an understatement.